Loving the skin I'm in

     My whole life, I have felt like I was trapped behind glass.  Watching my life happen around me.  There have been very few times that really felt authentic. During each pregnancy and the birth of my children,  my freshman and sophomore years of high school, when I first moved out to Colorado, and finally today.  I always felt like there has been this internal battle between the person I am meant to be, and the one that everyone wants me to be. I felt I had to conform to this certain mold.  To fit in, to be loved, to be seen.  I wasn't supposed to rock the boat or stir the pot.  It felt like when I was trying to just be me, that I did both, and often.  Or, at least, that's how it felt.  I wasn't always looked down upon with disdain or misunderstanding.  I have had the pleasure of many a fine soul to call friend.  So here's the thing I figured out, I like being that girl.  The one that rocks the boat.  The one that stirs the pot.  The one that endlessly searches for ways to be comfortable in her own skin.   
     When I was younger, I remember watching Lilias Yoga on PBS.  I remember her talking about food in a way that not only sounded delicious and fulfilling, but that also nourished your soul.   That's not how we ate in my house.  Not that we ate badly, just different.  I wasn't really secure enough in myself to step out and break that routine.  I then remember reading The Jungle.  I was so moved by this book that I stopped eating red meat and fowl for 9 years. I married a man that was about as carnivorous as they come and that part of my world came to an end. I suppose I didn't have that security within me at that point either. When I was first introduced to Essential Oils 13 years ago by my friend, I was mesmerized by the immediate change I felt when I used them.  Again, my focus seemed to bring me back to my longing for better nutrition in my life.  I planned to go back to school and become a Nutritionist.  My life drastically changed shortly there after and my focus then became survivalistic and limited.  I assume full responsibility when it comes to the decisions I have made and the state of my health.  My lack of confidence in myself led to a lifetime of poor eating choices, a sedentary lifestyle, and excuses.  I am finally ready to take this life by the haunches, and hump it into submission. 
      Feeling comfortable in my own skin today doesn't necessarily mean that I am not continuing to work on it.  I am far more forgiving of my downfalls and appreciate that this is part of my journey.  I no longer expect overnight transformation and when I don't achieve it, there is no more belittling.  With the gift of age has come the wisdom of knowing what I truly like and don't.  If the things that I want in my life are different, so be it. If the things that are popular or trendy are not what I want, so be that as well.  If I were to ever make one wish for the world, it would be that every person just be who they are and be ok with that.  
     So now that I have bared my soul even more, I look forward to shifting gears and begin sharing the things I am incorporating into my world.  I appreciate everyone that decides to follow along with my journey. Much love. <3